Wrapping up what I learned this year

So I came into work this morning ready to finish up my "What I learned this year" series. I walked in and got settled and turned on my computer. And nothing happened. So I tried again and again. And nothing EVER happened.

Now it's four hours later, and I am lucky enough to be typing on a rigged up laptop since my motherboard is apparently shot so I'll be needing a new computer. Luckily, I haven't been here long enough to accumulate a bunch of stuff that makes it devastating to lose my computer. In fact, with the exception of all the time I had to waste this morning, I couldn't care less.

But anyway, instead of focusing on one thing I learned, I'm gonna to do a few and talk a bit less about what led me to each lesson. There are a couple reasons for this. One is that I want to spend tomorrow's blog on something fun. The other is that, quite frankly, the looking back takes a toll on me. And I swore I wouldn't let that happen anymore.

But here we go...

Lesson #3: Remember who is in control.

There is only one person who controls your life and that is you. If you're unhappy, it's because of you. If you're happy it's because of you. Now I'm not saying that in some cases, such as depression, there aren't other issues at play. There are. But it is up to you to deal with them and seek the help and treatment.

Lesson #4: You are not alone, nor should you be.

There is no new problem under the sun. No matter what is happening, someone else has been through it. If you choose to shut others out, you will regret it. When you're facing something, find others in your personal life that understand. Also, seek help of whatever type you think is needed. I needed the help of a personal therapist, a couple's therapist, and a psychiatrist before I could see out of the pit I was in. Some people do support groups and other things too. Seek any help you feel necessary and follow through.

Lesson #5: "Beware of who you listen to; Beware of who you believe" (borrowed from Greg Dulli)

During any given day, a person receives messages from a million different places. There are the things your friends, loved ones, co-workers, and other random people tell you. There are the things you hear from the media. But, most importantly, there are the things you tell yourself. You control what messages you believe and take to heart. Pay attention to the messages that are coming in and block the negative ones. Now this doesn't mean that, say if your boss tells you that you did something wrong, you just choose not to hear it. But it means that, in that same scenario, you hear that you made a mistake and not that your boss said you were incompetent and couldn't do anything right. There's a big difference there.

I would also say that, if you find a voice that is always negative or cruel or judgemental, get it out of your life in a hurry. Life is too short to spend it trying to change someone's mind. Surround yourself with voices of love and kindness (and of course give like in return) and you'll be surprised how bright the world can become.

Lesson #6: Sometimes you have to shut up and walk away.

Boy I learned this one the hard way. There are some things that can't be explained. There are some things that can't be fixed. Or even helped. If I could rewind time several months, I would rectify a mistake and shut my mouth and walk away. The truth will always come out, it didn't need my help. Instead I dug in and tried to "help". Instead, I shoulda walked away from the situation and taken care of myself and my life and let the parties involved work out theirs.

Anyway, life is always a live and learn thing. So hopefully someone will learn from this and not have to go through things the way I did.